Wednesday, March 23, 2011

When the rain stops

When the rain stops
I"ll still try to
remember what the
kiss we never had
feels like.

When the rain stops
I can no longer imagine
that you are stroking
my bare scalp once more.

When the rain stops
it will all be real
no more
wiping the nimbus from your eyes,
fingers innertwining,
feet resting parallel,
kicks from a growing butterfly in your stomach,
sweet scents of sunrised meals,
clothes used as postcards from memories,
no more parts of myself given for no reason.

When the rain stops
there is just the day
no person to look forward to
telling how the day went
just the day itself.

When the rain stops
I promise myself I won't call
a number I never had in the first place,
or think about introducing myself
to a person who barely knows what they mean to me.

When the rain stops
I'll still be here
stuck in place like
a bucket, with no handle
holding it together.

Monday, March 21, 2011

100 Things About Me In 400 Words Or Less

1. I am waking up
2. over thinker
3. over lover
4. fire and air
5. music
6. gold
7. fan of the tunes of heartbeats
8. appreciator of inner beauty
9. eye wanderer
10. matchmaker with matches
11. adversary of vanity
12. sleep practitioner
13. starved of dreams
14. architect of fantasies
15. intentional mistakes
16. a personal library
17. records of redemption
18. hip hop
19. rock and roll
20. My shoulders are pages
21. My spine holds scrolls together
22. A back stabbed by pencils
23. My poems are scarred tattoos
24. My nails are dirty
25. I am a listener
26. predictor of people's words
27. a great book
28. A track and field sprinter
29. A rain dancer
30. Very accepting
31. My favorite number is 5
32. I enjoy multiples of 5
33. Smiles are infernos to me
34. Embraces are gravitational
35. I prefer a nice personality over anything
36. A feeler of vibes
37. I was a break dancing child
38. an angry child
39. the new abstract nigger
40. lover of eclipses
41. My eyes are dried reservoirs
42. My ears are winds
43. I am a horrible chef
44. combinations of ingredients
45. I tried
46. submission
47. sorrow
48. forgiveness
49. apologetic
50. the pain
51. pain
52. pain
53. pane
54. windows withhold sunlight
55. attracting to the illiterate
56. I want to author kids one day
57. silence disturbs my sleep
58. I leave televisions on
59. my dreams clip together
60. and they fire
61. they fire
62. fire
63. fire
64. gunshots are lullabies
65. my corneas see words
66. sentences
67. mars
68. the marred
69. martyrdom
70. I feel
71. Hated
72. Loved
73. Rewarded
74. Punished
75. Unique
76. Rare
77. Original
78. Rapture
79. Joy
80. Anger
81. African
82. American
83. Black
84. Red
85. Gold
86. Green
87. Damn Dollars
88. money causing damage
89. imagination resting ideas
90. hurt creativity
91. reality doesn't sooth it
92. a girl told me she was afraid to ruin me
93. I'm too good
94. I don't want to hear that
95. Sorrows sprints after me
96. Fight or Flight
97. beyond definitions of heated tornadoes
98. I am as I always was
99. and will be beyond measurement
100. I am the loving sensation in the morning

For Those With Difficulty Speaking For Themselves

It isn't the way
you call him one
of those people
in rooms void
of his presence.
It's the way you look
down and away,
avoiding the face
and not really attentively
when he tries to speak to you.
You call things retarded
in his presence,
equating
a lack of intelligence
to something
he can't help but share.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Mysteries

I.

When you are asked
where he touched you
do not be afraid
to tell them
you don't know
anywhere
he hasnt.

II.

I promised her
god didn't want
any more broken knees
her prayers are heard
it's just that the answers
are in the one asking
the questions.

III.

On finding out
that he was the
father, he also
discovered the
ability to disappear
his dad passed down
to him.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

20 Things I Learned Before the Age of 20

1. Repeat something enough times, you'll have faith in it.
2. Women use emotion, men use logic, master both.
3. You have no idea how badly everyone wants to be the first.
4. Everyone has the same issues as a teenager, just different levels.
5. Repeat something enough times to believe it.
6. Embrace your fear of loneliness, it'll give a power most don't have.
7. Any pimple not on your nose is no big deal, even bleeding ones.
8. Everybody/ lies. Everybody sleeps./ Some will lie to sleep./
9. Trust nobody's appearance, not even your own.
10. Remember what you're supposed to repeat.
11. Most people use tattoos as distractions from their inner attractions
12. Don't worry about fitting in, this is the time when people make scars. It'll be space for you in them.
13. Trust your instincts...figure out what they're saying first
14. If you think someone else will save you, you're already doomed.
15. I love you is the hardest thing to repeat, believe and remember.
16. Forgive your father for going back to Africa, lament him for not taking you.
17. Hearts eventually break into sand. Learn to make hourglasses.
18. Anything bleeding not on your nose is a big deal.
19.What do you do in/a world that doesn't want you?/You make a new one/
20. Repeat and remember those three words, your logic and emotion will thank you.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

20 Things I learned before age 10

1. Red is an amazing color. You look good in it.

2. Being a parent is something most kids don't wish to be when they grow up.

3. Tears not shed are left on taste buds, words can hurt.

4. God will forgive you for sleeping in church. It's not your fault.

5. After so many near death experiences you realize you're here on purpose.

6. Don't be so shy, nobody is without secrets.

7. Enjoy girls young,they break when they get older...so do boys.

8. No matter what anyone says Pluto is closer than the moon.

9. There are worst things than being alone I swear.

10. They will turn on you so swiftly, study the death of Malcolm X.

11. Typing stereos is a faceless raceless crime

12. Your anger and pain will do more with your tongue than your knuckles could.

13. The ugly kids grow up to be outwardly pretty.

14. The pretty kids grow up to be inwardly hideous.

15. A hill and a running start is all it takes to fly, don't stop.

16. You have no idea how much video games will teach you.

17. You're filled with reds, but are made of the blues.

18. Most people won't matter or be remembered in the long run.

19. Slavery wasn't that long ago.

20. Learn to like you before anyone else.