Apology to a Snowflake
It was instincts against intentions
when removing blankets of snow
leaving your bedside, I just needed
to sleep alone for once, sneaking out.
Outside of my nature,
actions I hadn't thought about,
just the fatigue of making it work on me,
but blame couldn't go all on you.
We were that puzzle missing the snowflake
going in the middle making the picture perfect,
that empty space always glared back at us,
aggressively, searching, demanding.
I don't want those three years back,
I want to see the 1095 sunrises
in your smile,
one last time.
Sometimes when saving daylights time
I left my mind behind bodily wishes.
Hearts and heads have different hemispheres
I thought and loved in often opposing times zones.
We attract magnetic bees,
acting surprised when stung.
Life is a dice game you
gave me too many chances in.
I started the flood of our argument,
You started the rain that overcame us,
we were refugees of our own selves
waiting for Mardi Gras beads to hang on to but
dead Indonesians haven't stopped floating.
There are cities of memories we left underwater.
Funny thing about floods, there are
usually more casualties after than during.
Life isn't a gamble,
gambling is an addiction,
addictions require dependency,
once broken, hearts see value
in what they wasted away.
Love requires committed independency.
Bees see corpses around bug zappers,
but some attractions are just so great.
I'm not sorry that we didn't work out,
I just want you to know,
during the extra sunrise of that leap year,
I found the snowflake.
The bigger picture is no longer puzzling.
The relationship failed
we did not, I'm still standing,
you're looking strong.
I'm happy for you,
we've moved on.
You were right, I was wrong.
I was right, you were wrong,
the arguments aren't important,
forgiveness is, self and otherwise.
It's about time our hearts and minds,
synchronized again, but in a new way.
The great thing about snow, isn't its cold,
it's how it feeds the growth of something
after it melts.
